Dear Diary,
Ok. So there are these furry things that scurry around my backyard and perch on the fence taunting me. My human calls them “squirrels”. I call them: assholes. I can’t stand their beady little eyes and bushy little tails. And they sit there just staring at me. I’m like, “WTF man?!” So I sit perfectly still waiting for one of the little buggers to make his move, then I POUNCE!
My human freaked out & yelled at me to “chill the F*?k out!” I don’t know what this means exactly, but whenever she starts making noises with her deep, loud voice I know that means she doesn’t like what I’m doing. So I went back on the porch to chillax, but how can anyone chillax when those things are out there… in the trees and bushes and stuff? They’re like furry little ninjas or something. It’s freakin’ weird when you think about it.
Lola
2 comments:
Lola:
I totally agree. Those furry f***ers sit by their lifeline (those tall things most male dogs pee on) and wait until I get close, only to scurry up to the tops and look down making the most annoying noise I have ever heard...other than when my pet human shrieks "NO". I know some day, when my human is not paying attention, I will get one of those rodents and then wear the tail around my necklace as a trophy!
Best regards,
Luna
BTW-we all miss seeing you in the mornings :(
hahahaha. luna you are the best. i will get my human down to the park soon so i can see you all. please tell everyone i miss them too. we gotta meet soon to plan the attack on those "squirrels". it will be done.
much love
~Lola
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