Dear Diary... It's me, Lola! 8.4.08

Dear Diary,

Ok. So there are these furry things that scurry around my backyard and perch on the fence taunting me. My human calls them “squirrels”. I call them: assholes. I can’t stand their beady little eyes and bushy little tails. And they sit there just staring at me. I’m like, “WTF man?!” So I sit perfectly still waiting for one of the little buggers to make his move, then I POUNCE!

My human freaked out & yelled at me to “chill the F*?k out!” I don’t know what this means exactly, but whenever she starts making noises with her deep, loud voice I know that means she doesn’t like what I’m doing. So I went back on the porch to chillax, but how can anyone chillax when those things are out there… in the trees and bushes and stuff? They’re like furry little ninjas or something. It’s freakin’ weird when you think about it.

Lola

Dear Diary... It's me Lola 7-25-08

Dear Diary,

Today I went up to some human on the street who I didn’t know and sat down in front of him. I smiled and wagged my tail to let him know that I thought he was nice and I gave him permission to love on me. Guess what happened… NOTHING happened! He just stared. Then made a weird face. I actually think he didn’t like me being there. So I stood up and shook my butt a little more and smiled even bigger. Still nothing. My human called to me and tugged me away from him.

It’s not like I thrust my nose in his crotch or anything. I’m not shy but I’m not that pushy either! Later my human petted me said that some people just don’t like dogs. I was like, what hell is a “dog” and what does that have to do with me, lady?

Whatever.

Later, I peed on a tree. That lifted my spirits a bit. Then in the car on the way home, my human cranked up the noises she plays from what she calls "the radio". She made noises too except they didn’t quite match the noises from radio. She calls this "singing". But she was trying so hard, it made me smile. She just kept singing, “Hold me closer tiny dancer…” I smiled and wiggled my butt to show her I thought she was cute. Humans are funny.


~Lola

Dear Diary...It's me, Lola!

July 17, 2008

Dear Diary,

Well Diary, it’s me again… Lola. Today my human took me to the park in the morning-as usual. And as usual, I tried my best to destroy the unholy creatures that live deep within the flowers and grass but no luck. My human calls them “toads.” Whatever. I know the devil when I see it and I’ll keep trying to destroy them each day. Once again, my human kept making that awful sound, “NO!” and yanking me back on the path. And then she got that pissed off look on her face, like I was doing something wrong. Geez!

When we got to the arena of humans and others like me, I promptly proceeded to smell the asses of the others. Everything seemed kosher so I stood in the middle of the arena and stared for a while. I felt like I had forgotten something but couldn’t put my paw on it. Then it started. My human kept trying to get me to chase after the orbs. Sometimes she looks so pathetic and desperate, I indulge her and go after them once or twice but today, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Of course, then Luna had to do one of her fancy jump up and catch the orb and return it to her human maneuvers. Fortunately, Basil was there and we quickly distracted the humans by running after each other, fake growling and stuff. We can’t have them thinking we will always play those dumb games with them. And how will they ever learn if we don’t train them?

Later my best girl-friend Phoebe came with her human. And Sophie and Hazel with their human. And although I enjoy all of the gals, where were the boys?! I mean really? Ok, Diary… I have a confession. I have a crush on Mingus. He is so dreamy. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow. My human better make this happen. I’ll even try to give her extra room on the bed tonight so she’ll be in a good mood for tomorrow.

Ok, Diary, my human is making some sort of edible concoction that I just have to try! I’ll use my best, “I’m-so-sweet-don’t-you-love-me-face?” to get some from her. Heh heh heh…. it works every time.

Lola